Unimportant
by RockKreiss
Summary: Reality was harsh, and he'd never get what he wanted. Destined to be forever stuck in a never-ending cycle of bad luck and good luck, whilst afraid of hurting those around him, he'd lead his life actively tricking others and even himself about his unworthiness, about how filthy he truly was.


He counted the stars in that tropical sky, the tiny lights that desperately clung to the hope of being noticed by someone, of shining brightly for them. And he knew he wasn't any different. It was a feeling so complicated that the albino couldn't really put it into thoughts, much less words. A desire to... be important to someone. To be a priority to them. To not feel like this hopeless pile of trash for the rest of his days.

When did this come to be? It was hard to tell. Somewhere along his struggle against his luck. Somewhere along his pet's death. Somewhere along the hijacking of a plane, which lead to his parents' deaths. Somewhere along the kidnapping which only turned him even richer. Why... why couldn't his luck just hit him directly? Why did it have to use those dear to him to cause him pain? They didn't have anything to do with this.

But... this was fine, right? He just had to stay away from others. If someone were to try to approach him, then he could simply do something to make them hate him, right? Only then his bad luck would hurt him and him _only_. After all, someone with a talent this unfortunate was the only one who deserved to suffer the consequences of that talent. The only one who deserved all of that bad luck.

The diagnosis of stage 3 malignant lymphoma and frontotemporal lobe dementia was something he was anticipating. Finally, with that, he'd be able to leave this world and rid it of his dreadful presence.

 _But since when did his luck help relieve this pain?_ It didn't take long for him to realize the answer was never. Soon enough he had surpassed the life expectancy set up for his disease, and he realized that his luck was what was keeping him alive.

 _"Wow, luck is such a cool talent!" "Nagito, you're so lucky to still be alive!"_

No. Shut up, shut up! This was not what he wanted! None of this was what he wanted. Why couldn't he just lead a normal life, rid of this horrible talent, the one that ruined his life completely? The one that messed him up this much? Why?

By being someone with no remarkable skills, maybe he'd find what he was looking for. Or so was what he believed.

What he was looking for... **someone's love.**

An idea as stupid as that was what was in his head. The desire to be loved by someone, to be important to them. He could deny as much as he wanted, but it was true: that was what he was looking for all along.

But reality was harsh, and he'd never get what he wanted. Destined to be forever stuck in a never-ending cycle of bad luck and good luck, whilst afraid of hurting those around him, he'd lead his life actively tricking others and even himself about his unworthiness, about how filthy he truly was.

Yes, of course. He was scum. He wasn't even worthy of being near all of these Ultimates. It didn't matter how many times the others told him that he wasn't trash, honestly. And it also didn't matter that they were Remnants of Despair, considering that was all done and over with - not to mention that, being a Remnant himself, Nagito wasn't anywhere better than the rest.

Sighing as he observed the sky, his mind filled with all of these thoughts he'd never tell anyone, all the secrets he had hidden behind his fake smiles, his little lies and changes of topic, the albino didn't realize when someone else had arrived at the beach.

"So I'm not the only one having trouble falling asleep, huh?" The familiar voice finally brought him back to reality, turning his head to look back at the brunet who had just sat down on the sand next to him.

Nagito looked almost surprised at him, obviously not expecting the other to still be up at that hour.

"Hinata-kun... what brings you here?" Up until now, he thought he was the only one who came to the beach when he couldn't fall asleep. Seeing Hajime there as well made him wonder if this was the first time he came here this late.

"Hm? This isn't my first time here. Before you woke up I used to come here often, since I couldn't really sleep properly." The slightly shorter male shifted his gaze towards the stars, which continued to shine in the dark sky.

"I take it that you were worried about the rest when they were in their coma?" The albino guessed, earning a nod from Hajime. Of course the other was worried. He deeply cared about everyone, even if they weren't really his classmates - since he was originally from the Reserve Course, - but everyone saw him as part of the class nonetheless.

"But not just them... I was worried about you, too, Komaeda." He turned his gaze towards Nagito, a gaze that showed kindness. Kindness that someone like him didn't deserve at all. That gaze made him look away from the brunet, choosing to stare at the sandy ground instead.

If there was something the luckster wasn't used to, even after some time had passed since he had woken up, was how kind and understanding the others were with him - Hajime probably being the most kind out of everyone. It all came off as a surprise for him, who thought the other would hate him the most due to how he betrayed his trust and almost got him killed in the simulation because of his beliefs. It was still difficult for him to take all the positive interactions he had, something almost unknown to him.

"Haha! You must be joking. Why would someone as talented as you even be worried about me of all people?" The breathy voice showed clear disbelief of Hajime's words, unable to grasp the true meaning of the words. "Someone like me... doesn't deserve your worry." Nagito continued to refuse to look up at the brunet, his fingers playing with the sand right next to him, writing some random kanji.

In a matter of moments, his left arm - the one which had the mechanical hand attached to - was grabbed by the shorter male, as if he wanted to tell the albino to place his gaze back on him. Nagito didn't do that immediately, wanting to hear his words first.

"You... you know that's not true! Nobody wanted you to die. We all waited - we waited for you to wake up, and then welcomed you back with open arms. Komaeda, why can't you understand-"

"Because I did a lot of things that I shouldn't!" He pulled his arm back, the touch being lost. "People died because of me. I ended up hurting others. Like I had said before... I would've been the perfect sacrifice, but nobody would take me! So I... I did it myself, at the potential cost of you all dying. Don't you see? I didn't care if you all died! Granted, it was all a simulation and I was aware of that when I made the decision, but... why would you care if I died?"

"There's a big difference between a simulation and the real world, that's true. But that's not the only reason we worry about you. We've... done some pretty bad things ourselves, during our time as Ultimate Despairs. And we can't erase it. But we can atone for our mistakes together, can't we? Not to mention..." Hajime's gaze turned to the sea, the waves hitting the rocks ever so softly and the moon's reflection making the water glisten. "I wanted to understand you. Even if I was scared of you back then, I still tried understanding you. I wanted to see why you were the way you were. And I... may have found out why."

The brunet finally got the attention he wanted from the other, who gazed back at him in pure shock at the statement. No way... he had found out why he was like that? That didn't sound good. That was something he never wanted to happen.

"Found out why...? Hinata-kun, I don't think it's something that really matters-" He tried brushing it off, but he wasn't match for Izuru's talents, which told Hajime exactly what he was trying to do.

"It matters." Nagito now had sharp heterochromatic eyes staring back at him, the expression in the other's face telling him that he was completely serious with every word he was saying. "Of course it matters, Komaeda. When I learned that your diseases were real, I was worried. I thought countless times, 'what if he dies while in the simulation and never wakes up'? 'What if I never get to tell him everything that's in my head'? 'What if I never get to understand him'? It... it pained me! I couldn't understand why you lied about your illness in the first place. Until... I learned why you're like this."

The albino could barely believe what he was hearing. It was almost as if Hajime was really worried about his well being, almost as if he was important to him. _Important…_

 ** _"I want to be important to someone."_**

The words rang inside of his head, reminding him of desires he didn't really want to remember. Desires he shouldn't be allowed to have in the first place.

He immediately shook his head, as if to try and forget about them. But it was all in vain. Hajime continued to speak.

"You want to be accepted for who you are, don't you? But your luck is the problem. You can't get close to others without hurting them. And you chose to live in solitude because of it. You chose to be hated to protect everyone else." His voice turned almost emotionless, signaling that it was Izuru the one talking at the moment. Analyzing the albino, exposing his true self.

"No, that's not true. Stop!" Nagito, however, felt completely vulnerable due to that exposition, and brought his hands to his own hair, grasping at the white strands. "Stop, stop! That's not me at all!"

"...Komaeda." The brunet quickly took control of the situation, taking the other's hands by the wrists and making him let go. Even with Nagito's panicked eyes staring back at him, Hajime did not lose his composure. "You're really kind for doing that. Kind and strong. You endured so much, all this time..."

"E-Endure? What are you talking about, hah..." He had been caught off guard by such kind words, that much was obvious. But he still attempted to talk as if he didn't know what it was all about.

"..." Hajime bit down on his own lip before continuing. "I'm sorry for digging personal information without your authorization, but... your parents... they died due to your luck, didn't they?"

"Didn't I tell you this already when I talked about myself with you, Hinata-kun?" The albino lifted an eyebrow up at the shorter male.

"I... guess so. But they weren't the only ones. Your... dog died for the same reason, too." It almost looked like it pained Hajime himself to talk about this.

"...Where are you trying to get at with this?" Nagito's voice sounded awfully cautious as he looked at the other.

"I'm trying to say that all those important to you have died. Didn't it hurt? Didn't you get scared? You're always hiding your feelings behind this mask of hope." At that part, Hajime did something that Nagito wouldn't ever imagine he'd do. He pulled him close by the wrists, which he still held, and brought him into an embrace.

The first hug he and Hajime ever shared.

"...It's okay to stop being optimistic for a little while, you know? You can... use my shoulder if you ever feel like crying." The albino hid his face on the crook of the other's neck as he returned the hug.

"Hinata-kun... you're so unfair." Nagito simply muttered, and a few moments passed before Hajime could feel something wet on his neck.

"Komaeda...?" He looked down at the boy, who only answered with more tears. The brunet held him closer, like he was a precious thing that had to be protected.

And it was true. Nagito had suffered so much ever since he was born with this talent. He needed a break. He needed protection from any more suffering.

"It's okay, Komaeda. Cry all you want. I'll make sure to protect you from your talent from now on." Hajime reassured, massaging Nagito's back with one of his arms, gently.

Nagito could barely comprehend what was happening. Hajime Hinata, the one he had loved ever since meeting him in the simulation, was now holding him close, telling him that he'd protect him from his luck. And the albino was crying against his neck, letting out the tears he had held onto for too long.

"Hi... Hinata-kun..." He let out in the middle of his sobbing, before clutching Hajime's shirt. "I-Isn't it horrible to be so close to trash like me a-and... and to see me in this despicable state?"

"Not at all." The brunet answered without any hesitation, which prompted Nagito to look up at him, his tearful face being brought into vision. Hajime brought his hand up to wipe away a few of his tears with his thumb. "I'm actually happy. I'm happy that you trust me enough to let me see this side of you."

"Happy? But..." His expression clearly showed Hajime that he would attempt to self-deprecate again, but he was faster. He brought his finger to Nagito's lips, effectively silencing the albino, whose cheeks turned pink at the gesture.

"Shh. You'll need to learn to not bring yourself down like this anymore, okay?" He smiled down at Nagito, who looked like he was pouting.

"Hinata-kun... are you using one of your talents? Because you've never been a smooth talker like this." The taller smirked once he had ended the sentence.

"HEY! Even if I was, I don't think there's something like 'Ultimate Smooth Talker', okay?!" Nagito laughed carefree at how upset Hajime was, and it almost didn't feel like he was crying only a few moments ago.

"Ahhaha..." He wiped one of his own tears away as his laughing fit came to an end. "You're... really fun to talk to, Hinata-kun. And honestly, I feel like I can be at ease with you even in the silence."

"...It's the same for me, too. Even if you're a little weird sometimes, it can't be helped. That's just who you are, and... I wouldn't change anything about you, Komaeda."

Nagito adjusted himself upright, letting go of the embrace and smiling at the other. "Of course. As I was saying... I'd still love the hope sleeping inside of you."

The brunet almost looked surprised, before he blushed. "O-Oh. Uh... Komaeda. That's also something I wanted to talk about."

"Huh?" The albino tilted his head in confusion. "What is it, Hinata-kun?"

"What you mean... isn't actually my hope, right?" Hajime was clearly nervous as he talked, knowing this would be a sensitive subject for both.

"...Ah. You probably know what I mean now, don't you?" Nagito chose to stare back at the ocean, afraid of looking at his companion's expression. "Your talents are really something."

The brunet gulped. "Yeah, I do. I never would have imagined before, but now that I know... I really was oblivious. It was almost obvious."

"Hmm, was it? Well, now that you realized, you can just ignore it. After all, it's not like this will change our relationship, correct?" As much as Nagito wanted that to be the case, he couldn't find it possible for Hajime to return his feelings.

"Komaeda. I can't deny that during the simulation my feelings towards you were a huge mess." He started, placing his hand on the albino's before continuing. "But after I got out, I had time to sort them out. And I... may have felt the same all this time. There are so many things I learned about myself after I got out of there, and this... was probably one of the biggest discoveries." Hajime was now grasping the hand.

"Hinata-kun..." Nagito had to gaze back at Hajime after he had said those words, and he didn't regret it at all. The other was staring back at him with a loving smile that warmed his heart. He couldn't help but smile as well. "If that's true, then why don't you show me? You might not even be talking about what I'm thinking you're talking~!" He teased the brunet, whose cheeks only turned a darker shade of pink.

"F-Fine. I'll show you, then!" The albino mentally appreciated the determination in the other's voice as he leaned closer.

It didn't take long for them to be mere centimeters away from each other's faces, their breaths being felt on one another's skin. Nagito closed his eyes tightly and, expectant, waited for Hajime's next movements. As the other leaned even closer to seal their lips together he also closed his eyes.

The moment their lips met could be described as the best moment of Nagito's life, if he were to exaggerate just a bit. They slowly and sweetly kissed, simply savoring the moment. It was an act so pure yet so hyptonizing that if they didn't need to breathe they would probably kiss for hours. At least, that was what Nagito would want to do.

Unfortunately, they did have lungs and the need to breathe, which were responsible for the kiss coming to an end. Breathing heavily, the two boys looked into each other's eyes as they brought their foreheads together.

"Komaeda... I love you." These words made Nagito's heart flutter, and he still could barely believe that any of this was true. And if it actually was a dream, then he didn't want to wake up from it.

"I... I love you too, Hinata-kun. Not just your hope. Everything that is you." He smiled so brightly that it might have even been able to rival the stars in the sky.

After all, he felt needed, he felt loved, and he felt important.

He was finally important to someone: **he was important to Hajime.**

And that alone was a blessing on itself. Maybe one he didn't deserve, but one that he appreciated nonetheless.


End file.
